The Dragon's Call

Guest(s): Seb

Popcorn at the ready, we start the episode...

Me: It's the Clash of Clans music!

Seb: Oh, yeah. It does sound like it.

A plane flies overhead and John Hurt's narration is momentarily cut out. Not that I'm complaining.

"And so it will be, for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will in time, father a legend. His name?"

Me: Jethro!

"-Merlin!"

And the opening titles begin. 

Me: Woah! Too many names. Pause it.

Seb (pointing at each name): They write it, they're the two good writers, and they produce it. 

After the opening titles, we join Merlin in Camelot, where an execution is taking place...

Seb: That's Uther Pendragon. He's the king.

Me: Poor guy. He can never name a taxi service after himself.

"But for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass."

The executioner raises his axe...

And Uther signals to lower it.

The crowd gasps and an old woman is visibly distressed.

Seb: That's the woman from Torchwood.

After dramatically promising to kill Uther's son, she disappears in a whirlwind of smoke. 

Seb: She's good at acting evil.

Me: I don't get it. Wouldn't you want to be friends with magic people? This is dumb. This whole story is dumb so far. 

Merlin enters Gaius' room. He looks up, sees him and calls his name. Gaius looks over his shoulder and inexplicably falls back - the rail behind him snapping - and falls towards the floor.

The scene goes into slow-motion and Merlin magically moves a bed under Gaius, who's still in mid-air.

Me: So he's magic too.

Seb: Merlin? Yep.

Gaius wants to know where Merlin learnt magic. Merlin tells him he never studied magic and Gaius refuses to believe him. But he promises not to tell.

Me: So is the whole series going to be about Merlin hiding his magic?

Seb: Yep.

And then we're introduced to-

Seb: Morgana. Morgana's awesome.

Morgana isn't attending the feast because she doesn't want to celebrate the execution. She has a fantastic argument with Uther before he leaves her so she can continue her hunger strike in peace. 

Me: Princess with attitude. I like it.

Seb: She's not a princess.

Me: Whatever.

Cut to a red tent surrounded by guards. Inside is...

Me: Claire!

Seb: Claire?

Me: Or Gwen. Or Gwenith.

But there's something outside...

Seb: It's the same actor.

And the old woman from the first scene is killing Claire- I mean, Gwen. No, what's her name in this? Whatever. The Eve Myles with lots of make-up is killing the Eve Myles with significantly less make-up. And then Eve Myles with lots of make-up takes the face of Eve Myles with significantly less make-up.

Me: Is that a pendant she just took off? That would be so funny.

Eve Myles looks in the mirror... And her make-up's back!

Merlin wakes up to John Hurt calling his name.

Me: You have ten missed calls from... John Hurt.

Seb: They should've called this episode: 'John Hurt's Call'

Gaius conveniently knocks over a bucket of water, but Merlin uses his magic to stop it in mid-air! But then he lets it go and water goes all over the floor.

Merlin heads to the yard, where a man in fancy-dress is picking on a boy carrying a target. By throwing knives at him.

Merlin intervenes, and after a quick chat with the man in fancy-dress, he throws a punch at him and learns he's Prince Arthur. Oops.

As Merlin is locked away, Eve Myles arrives at the castle and (while holding her pendant) has a conversation with Uther.

Me: I wonder if she stole it. But it was probably hers in the first place.

And so it became my mission to fit in as many Broadchurch references as possible for the rest of the episode.

Meanwhile, in Merlin's cell, Gaius has managed to "pull some strings" and free Merlin. Merlin is understandably grateful, but looks like someone who's just met their favourite celebrity.

Me: Selfie with Gaius!

But, as Gaius says, there's still a small price to pay...

While the children of the village throw their unwanted vegetables at Merlin, a young woman approaches, and introduces herself as Gwen.

Me: That's going to be confusing. Eve Myles and a character called Gwen in the same episode.

Merlin and Gwen have a very awkward conversation, and Gwen tells Merlin that Arthur is "one of those rough, tough, 'save the world' kind of guys."

Me: I thought that was going to be Merlin's job.

Back in Gaius' room, Gaius is telling Merlin all about the good old days. Merlin leaves to deliver a jar of earwax to Eve Myles' room.

Seb: You know Lady Helen's going to be right behind him.

Me: Who?

Seb: Her.

Me: Can I just call her 'Claire'?

Seb: Claire?

Me: Claire. That's her character's name in Broadchurch.

Seb: She's in Broadchurch?

Me: Series Two.

Merlin is back outside when he passes Prince Arthur. The one he tried to punch earlier.

And by the time Gaius looks out the window, Arthur and Merlin are in the midst of battle. Some sneaky magic from Merlin puts Arthur on the back foot, but Gaius appears and a distracted Merlin is defeated by Arthur.

Arthur says there's something about Merlin, but he can't quite put his finger on it.

Me: I can, the show's named after him.

Gaius continues to lecture Merlin on the danger of using magic while Uther is king. Merlin asks what he's got if he doesn't have magic.

Me: Your head.

Merlin goes to his room, but Gaius soon follows and tells Merlin to take his shirt off.

Me: That's one hell of an age gap.

Seb: I bet the writers were like: 'We've got to have him naked in at least one scene each series.'

But Gaius just wants to heal Merlin's wounds and have an in-depth conversation with some sad music in the background.

Seb: In the original story, Merlin was the old wise person, but in this it's Gaius.

At dinner with Uther, Lady Helen accidentally foreshadows her upcoming assassination of Uther's son Arthur. When asked by Uther why she said 'Poor child', she covers by saying "It can't have been easy to grow up without a mother" and "that bond between mother and son... It's so hard to replace"

Me (sarcastically): Wow, she's a great advocate for gay rights.

Merlin wakes up to-

Me: You have 14 missed calls from... John Hurt.

Merlin heads outside, past a sleeping Gaius, and around two guards playing with an easily-manipulated dice.

Seb: This is the only time he has to get past guards. Every other time, there are no guards.

Merlin walks towards the sound of John Hurt...

Seb: This passageway is used so many times.

And the voice keeps calling...

Seb: Telepathy! Mordred used that too. You're about to see the dragon...

Me: It doesn't look that bad...

The dragon gives Merlin a lecture about destiny, and it turns out Merlin is destined to protect the guy he hates the most. Obviously, he's not happy, but the dragon reminds him that no one can change their destiny.

Me: You can, if a crazy dragon that can tell the future doesn't tell you.

Merlin wakes up the next day (he does an awful lot of waking up, doesn't he?) to Gaius, who needs him to give Morgana something because she's been having bad dreams.

Seb: But are they dreams?

Merlin walks in on Morgana undressing (behind some wooden panels, in case you were wondering) and Morgana thinks he's Gwen. Luckily, the real Gwen arrives just in time, as Morgana asks for some help tightening her dress. 

Lady Helen's temporary slave arrives at Lady Helen's room with some flowers. Lady Helen invites her in and kills her after she sees Lady Helen's true face in the mirror.

Me: She really shouldn't have all those mirrors in her room.

Merlin and Gwen have an extremely awkward conversation in the hall, and Lady Helen leaves her room, without bothering to cover up the body lying on the floor.

With the feast beginning, we get a closer look at Uther Pendragon.

Me: It's the guy from 'School Reunion'!

Seb: Yep, and Gwen was in the Madame de Pompadour one.

Uther makes a short speech before handing over to Lady Helen. She's going to sing.

Seb: That's not her singing.

Me: I didn't think so.

Grasping something imaginary in the air, Eve Myles continues to mouth the words.

And everyone's going to sleep... And the lights are going out... And there are cobwebs growing... Wow, this really isn't good, is it? But Merlin is smart and covers his ears.

Seb: No one else thought of that?

Me: This is creepy.

Seb: This is really different to most episodes.

Lady Helen advances towards a sleeping Arthur, but Merlin makes a chandelier fall on her.

Me: What was she going to do? Burst his eardrums?

Seb: She had a knife in her hand.

Me: Couldn't she have used her magic to kill him? And couldn't she have done it by surprise, rather than putting the whole room to sleep? She gave Merlin plenty of time to act.

But Lady Helen isn't dead, so she throws the knife at Arthur!

Merlin pushes Arthur out of the way and the knife hits the chair Arthur was sitting in. Uther rewards Merlin by offering a job as slave to Prince Arthur.

Seb: Saves his life so he gets to be his servant! (Sarcastically) Woohoo!

Back in his room, Merlin is having a conversation with Gaius, when Gaius gives him a book that Gaius was given when he was Merlin's age.

Me: It's porn!

But when Merlin opens the book, he discovers it's a book of spells...

I really liked that. It was funny, clever, and really creepy at the end. It's an excellent cast and the character development so far has been wonderful. I'd like to see more of Arthur though. And maybe a little less of Gaius. The story was a bit strange, but it worked for the first episode, and the dialogue was wonderful. The direction was good, but the camerawork was a bit dodgy in parts. I score it... 8/10. I can't fault it on much, but it just didn't feel like a 9/10.

Join us next time for 'Valiant'